Why do you always want more out of life?

The Bottom Line: The trick is to appreciate everything you already have and are, while simultaneously anticipating even more wonderfulness in the future.

"Scarcity: insufficiency or shortness of supply."

"Abundance: an extremely plentiful quantity.”

While there are undeniably situations in which some resource is in short supply, I believe there are many more situations in which we only perceive there to be shortages.

An obvious example of the former is a desert, which is notably short of water.  A fascinating example of the latter involves the late German billionaire Adolph Merckle.

Merckle was on the list of the “100 Richest People in the World,” as published by Forbes magazine; his fortune in 2009 was worth an estimated $9.2 billion.  That year, he threw himself under a speeding train because he felt helpless to deal with losses to his business empire which totaled an estimated $539 million.

Put another way: He perceived that having lost less than 6% of his net worth rendered him incapable of recovering or taking steps to strengthen his business holdings.

While none of us can know what was going on in Merckle’s head or heart, we can know that having over $8 billion left over after losses would seem to provide a pretty solid cushion for recovery.  Was it the actual losses which led him to choose to take his own life, or was it his perception that he failed which prompted his decision?

While most people in the world don’t operate at this financial level, all of us are, at one time or another, prone to undervalue what we have and overvalue what we don’t currently have.

Ask yourself the following questions to get a sense of whether you tend to focus on lack or abundance.

• Do I believe and behave as if more is always better?

• Do I know what enough looks like in specific instances?

• Do I sometimes act as if there's a finite amount of resources available?  That, if I don't get to them first, someone else might take them all so I'm left with nothing?

• Do I want [fill in something more you want] for the sake of simply having it, or because I will actively value and enjoy it?

• Do I actively enjoy and appreciate the possessions and experiences I already have in life?

The fear of scarcity, loss, or not getting your slice of the pie, is at the cause of many self-sabotaging behaviors.  These range from settling for merely adequate outcomes, to playing it safe, to unthinkingly accepting the faulty premise of replacement theory.

Am I encouraging greed?  Absolutely not.  Am I encouraging you to actively look for and celebrate the many positives you may simply take for granted?  Definitely.

So if you’re wondering whether you’ve maybe fallen into scarcity thinking, try these techniques to get into a more abundance-oriented mindset:

• Take stock of what’s working for you.  Include obvious, easily overlooked advantages you may have, such as eyesight, hearing, a sense of smell and taste, four limbs, functioning lungs, a strongly beating heart...

• Reflect on whether childhood teachings (religious or otherwise) discouraged you from celebrating and appreciating all you have and are.  If so, experiment with the idea that such behavior is neither bad, greedy, nor sinful.  It’s simply appreciative.

• When you find yourself wanting more, ask yourself, “Why?”  Be sure not to berate yourself with this question, but simply to come from a place of curiosity.  “Why do I want this?  What do I believe I’ll experience when I have it that I don’t believe I already have now?”  The answers may surprise you.

• Act as if (one of my favorite ways of playing big). 

  • Act as if you have and are enough to thoroughly enjoy life right now.

  • Act as if you live an abundant life.  If you’re a churchgoer, this could involve something as small as choosing to put $5 into the collection plate instead of $1.  In this way, you’re acting as if you can readily afford to donate more than the bare minimum.

  • Act as if the pie is big enough for everyone – including you – to enjoy a big, delicious slice.  Maybe two.

If these provide a good starting point but you want more ☺ tools to uplevel your mindset, check out my DIY Guides designed to help you play BIG (and feel good about it).

(BTW, thanks to Miguel Gascoj for posting the neon sign image on Unsplash.)